2010!

I'm in the lobby of the Singasara enjoying the songs and piano playing of the coaches.. it feels like Christmas once again.

camp has ended, like a whirlwind, before I knew it.. its ended..

With each camp, I learn new things about myself. I've always wanted all these amazing things to happen to me. And I did not realised that it has been happening to me all this while and now on the other end of the looking glass, I fully appreciate it all... I can't wait to finish the next chapter of my life. There are so many first that I can look forward to and it starts now.. or its been happening to me.. and I can only imagine that it will keep happening :)

Have a blessed new year!

Can you imagine that Xmas has barely passed and while chilling at Brewerkz yesterday evening some of the girls were lamenting that CNY '10 falls on V day.. I guess when you plan on celebrating it, its a big thing lah...

And as we were heading off our separate way.. Don felt I really shouldn't rain on their parade. And then the next sentence just really headed me in a different direction.. "It's not like you girls can get one if you wanted"

Beautiful memories

Today I invited the girls for lunch, just chatting and chatting up with the people I love. That is what is most important :)

Great food and the people you love!


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Yesterday's dinner was as good as every other X'mas eve dinner, plus a tandoori turkey!! Dinner was warm and food was scrumptious. After dinner I hosted a party game which turned out to be DA BOMB!! It was so much fun. I hope they had fun participating as I did conducting it.. The highlight was when everyone stood up and started dancing together!!!

Merry Christmas everyone, Happy Holiday! God Bless!

looking at love

After talking to Kenneth yesterday, I've got a better grasp on how I am feeling and what should be really important in a relationship. I guess its been some time.

In other areas of my life, things have come together. But with love, I'm still grappling. Max asked me the strangest question about my sexuality. And I had to ask, why would he ask such a thing.. And I figure its because I'm such a feminist. It is true to a fault that if I could do it myself I would not ask a guy for help. I guess it stems for a need to show my worth to the world and not be one of those "useless" women.

And that, amongst other reasons is why I do not flirt or rely on men. I have seen how it has unintentionally caused hurt. And I would never wish that on anyone. I have watched girls get what they want, and get a guy wrapped around their little finger. I just think that's not the way to do it and maybe I've over compensated. I mean this balancing act is tough k...

It would be really nice to ask the guy for help, just because I just want to spend time with him. Lean on his shoulder when I need a break, or ask for a hug. But I do not want to be perceived as reliant and hopelessly dumb, or seem too forward.. but strangely guys seem to like the whole damsel in distress act. ehh.

It was like learning that I could get away with just about anything by pouting. Gosh.. I remember that vividly.. that was the funniest thing.. but I milked it for all it was worth *wink


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Just a couple of days before, I told Ariel the same thing I said to Kenneth. And they both asked me the SAME question. And i did not have a good answer. That speaks a lot for the truth. And speaks a lot about what I is truly important in life.

And if all else fails.. Kenneth and I have each other.

All I want for christmas...

1.A pillows for my bean bag corner
2.A kino card
3.A CD rack i bet there is one lying around at house
4.Strings for my guitar
5.Work bag, mine is dying
6.noise canceling headphones
7.Buy myself a new phone

Hey all,

I've been back a week and I miss everyone. Been not so sorta busy, but have been spending time in the office of course.

I figure that I should gather us all for something quaint. I think I'm totally past the getting sloshed stage, will have drinks of course.. just not until someone gets slumped in the shower and people sprawled everywhere. Its a pity though that I'd be away the last 2 weeks of the year, those are always the best times to throw parties.

If you are wondering New Zealand was fab! It was not a leisure trip, I got a lot of family bonding, sightseeing, educated in the finer ways of the world. But I did not come back refreshed... not to mention that the things that unfolded as I returned did not help.

I'm back from my break fresh and ready to start things going

first on the list though...

there are so many things that run through my head about this topic, how do I feel, what is my stand and where do I fall in the whole scheme of things.
I watch my thoughts yo-yo from camp to camp, then do a total 180.
I can't do this, eggs the voice in my head. But I now know better.

With all that said, I am back where are started, considered all the options but am none the wiser. All I know is what I do not want. But that is far from satisfactory.