It's party time...

hey! my dear councilors...

you are cordially invited
to a party.. at my place.. haha
the reason..?! nah.. dont quite have one...
i miss everyone..
its kinda a celebration for BMT POP
and a farwell to the people
who might be leaving to study abroad..
and for the j2 to chill out a bit..
before the ball starts rolling..

but i do need a little help in making this happen..
so if you could read the comment section just below..
and help make this party happen..
it's be a great big help!!!
hope to see you all at the end of the week!!!

my place..
be here around five..
my plane would touch down at one..
so you could come at three to help me with food if you want..
only catch is i have to shoo you all away by 10/10ish

grudge

take away my anger
dispell this hurt
take my life
in return
grant me control
i don't wish to
continue living
if i have to
live like this
but everytime i thought
i had enough
you turn it around
and make it my fault.

longing

its so hard to close my eyes
cos it reminds me
that i'm all alone
being away from home hurts
much as i wish to be
in your arms
safe from harm
i remain, in this room
cold walls and bitter silence
nothing to calm my fears
dry my tears
please hold me
and keep me
i miss you
i'll run homejust be there waiting

distracting silence

incomprehensible murmurs
run through his head
thoughts spin out of control
losing senses
from his sensitivity
emotional scars run deep
and as he imagines the what ifs
the memories quietly fade
leaving behind a solitary soul

my world

hidden from the world
in a dark corner
is all the truth
enough to set you free
within these four walls
her sobs are silenced
no one can here her pleas

mind no longer in control
her wandering faithless soul
a side no one knows
cornered into believing
all her life
she's a cheap useless bitch
tears well up in her eyes

does not know what to think
her world comes crashing
lossing hope in any comfort
she wakes up
from another bad dream
things seem strangely the same
as if it had all not happened

take me away

now i understand
y it no longer feels like home
i lied so long
disillusioned myself
till i forgot there was anything wrong
i've lived the lie
praying against all that it shall
one day it'll come true

everytime i have an opinion
a voice of my own
you shoot me down
i've put up with enough of your crap
to think i thot it was my fault
just fucking shut up will ya
now i understand

y i'm such a screw up

a thought

...
while i lay.. a light bulb went off in my head... it was late on one of those nights.. csomething was bugging me.. but i couldn't put my finger on it.. now i understand.. and i don't like what i see... maybe i knew about this all along and i was simply in denial.. but how could my personality go against everything i believe in..

y..?..y..?...y...?

...
what is this...
all i seem to be able to do is
to put song lyrics
this is real crap...
and all this new stuff on blogger..
i need some time to get
a hang of.. lol
wateva it is..
i feel like drinking..
havent had any booze in a long
long time... haha..
shing! lets go drinking tmr!!
been really letargic...
dont know why..
its def not sleep..
i'm not working..
i think maybe a eat too little.. haha..
yea.. jus maybe..
but i eat wat.. haha..
i'm having pizza later.. yeah!
but been so tired...

"One Last Song"

A1

Take my hand, touch my face
Let me feel your embrace
Let me see in your eyes
That you won’t say goodbye
Just tell me how you feel
I don’t know what you’re thinking anymore

And if you need me, you’d kiss me
Then tell me how you feel
And if you want me, you’d show me
That your love is for real
And if you love me
You’d hold me in your arms where I belong
So while I’m feeling strong
I sing you one last song

Let me ask time has passed
Do you feel this could last
If you don’t, why then stay
Take your wings, fly away
I love you way too much
To wanna be the one who brings you down

And if you need me, you’d kiss me
Then tell me how you feel
And if you want me, you’d show me
That your love is for real
And if you love me
You’d hold me in your arms where I belong
So while I’m feeling strong
I sing you one last song

One last song I sing for you
Like I always did
This time it’s for real
I never come to you like this
Expecting you to turn my kiss
Oh no no no no no

And if you need me, you’d kiss me
Then tell me how you feel
And if you want me, you’d show me
That your love is for real
And if you love me
You’d hold me in your arms where I belong
So while I’m feeling strong
I sing you one last song
Oh yeah
I sing you one last song
I sing you one last song

Somebody Like You

(Keith Urban/John Shanks)

There's a new wind blowin' like I've never known.
I'm breathin' deeper than I've ever done.
And it sure feels good, to finally feel the way I do.
I wanna love somebody,
Love somebody like you.

An' I'm lettin' go of all my lonely yesterdays.
I've forgiven myself for the mistakes I've made.
Now there's just one thing, the only thing I wanna do, mmm, mmm.
I wanna love somebody,
Love somebody like you.

Yeah, I wanna feel the sunshine,
Shinin' down on me and you.
When you put your arms around me,
You let me know there's nothing in this world I can't do.

I used to run in circles goin' no-where fast.
I'd take, uh, one step forward and two steps back.
Couldn't walk a straight line even if I wanted to, mmm, mmm.
I wanna love somebody,
Love somebody like you.

Whoa here we go now!

Yeah, I wanna feel the sunshine,
Shinin' down on me and you.
When you put your arms around me,
Well, baby there ain't nothing in this world I can't do.

Sometimes it's hard for me to understand,
But you're teachin' me to be a better man.
I don't want to take this life for granted like I used to do, no, no.
I wanna love somebody,
Love somebody like you.

I'm ready to love somebody,
Love somebody like you. Oooh.

An' I wanna love somebody,
Love somebody like you, yeah.

Oh yeah.
Oh, I wanna be the man in the middle of the night,
Shinin' like it's true.
I wanna be the man that you run to whenever I call on you
When everything that loved someone finally found it's way
Wanna be a better man
I see it in you yeah...

i'm ill

yup.. caught the flu and a really lousy cough

haha.. but i'll survive..
been on a mental vacation..
probable the reason that i
havent been blogging...
this week was nice n quiet..
i like!! *grinz* :x
haha.. i miss all the people i talk to every night..
the nights been kinda empty
thank god i dont have to work..
its getting to me
i wont deny that i'm really nervous about not
receiving anything from the unis..
but honestly.. i think my parents are taking it worst than i am..
the week has been rather confusing..
i dont know what to think..

i've been ssifting through all my old letters, journals
came across so many that
speak about now..
about things that i shouldnt do..
warnings to myself..
which i didnt take heed..
and that i've made..

today i told someone something..
i cant believe i said it..
i dont regret...
it never happened..
but tooday..
he asked..
if there was one thing i want...
wat is it?
my reply was to turn back the last 4 months..
my gosh..
yup.. but thats what i want..
wont happen..
but yea.. if i could..
i've done too many things wrong..
everything that was wrong..
came back this year to haunt me...

here's some dirt...

i did this little test.. one of those trashy ones off the internet.. and this is what it had to say about me.. lol... knock yourself out! believe what you want...


1. You are attracted to those who are elegant and well-mannered.

2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you
feel irresistable is creative, never let you feel bored.

3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is flexible.

4. What you hate most in your partner is that the person is
ruthless, cold-blooded, and/or ironic.

5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your
partner is one that you care not only about the present but
also the future with your partner, a long-lasting relationship
that you can grow with.

6. You can never be stabilized; actually, you are not suitable for
marriage and you don't want to make committment.

7. You are afraid of marriage, you think it would take away your
freedom.

8. At this moment, you don't want to be tied down by a steady
relationship, you just want to flirt around.

http://www.naucon.net/misc/tests/love_test01.htm

where does all this lead?

a torn in your side
i'm made you run to hide
tears rolling down our faces
both alone
i know what you feel
same goes
and though i made you hurt
so badly
you've never left

"God Is A DJ"

pink

I've been the girl with her skirt pulled high
Been the outcast never running with mascara eyes
Now I see the world as a candy store
With a cigarette smile, saying things you can't ignore
Like Mommy I love you
Daddy I hate you
Brother I need you
Lover, hey "fuck you"
I can see everything here with my third eye
Like the blue in the sky

[CHORUS:]
If God is a DJ
Life is a dance floor
Love is the rhythm
You are the music
If God is a DJ
Life is a dance floor
You get what you're given
It's all how you use it

I've been the girl- middle finger in the air
Unaffected by rumors, the truth: I don't care
So open your mouth and stick out your tongue
You might as well let go, you can't take back what you've done
So find a new lifestyle
A new reason to smile
Look for Nirvana
Under the strobe lights
Sequins and sex dreams
You whisper to me
There's no reason to cry

[CHORUS:]
If God is a DJ
Life is a dance floor
Love is the rhythm
You are the music
If God is a DJ
Life is a dance floor
You get what you're given
It's all how you use it


You take what you get and you get what you give
I say don't run from yourself, man, that's no way to live
I've got a record in my bag you should give it a spin
Lift your hands in the air so that life can begin

If God Is a DJ... If God
If God is a DJ (life is a dance floor)
Get your ass on the dance floor

[CHORUS (2X):]
If God is a DJ
Life is a dance floor
Love is the rhythm
You are the music
If God is a DJ
Life is a dance floor
You get what you're given
It's all how you use it