dancing in the rain

well my last week of school has ended.
My last lecture was prof. Ho's Urban Sociology
gamelan practice was my last tutorial.

I ends just as began, simply and unadultered.
Perfect is its everydayness.
exams are coming up and I shall savoury it like sweet wine.

no tears shall be shed about the beginning of the end.
instead I amin eager anticipation about my interview tomorrow.

Thanks to dear Fel for telling me about the advertisement.
I'm gearing up for the air stewardness interview tomorrow
wish me the best of luck.

i cant believe that the last 3 years of NUS has whizzed by so fast
the days were speckled with fond memories.
I do agree that I have grown from this experience,
by golly you should have seenmy writing from my first semester.

it was bad.
I think I write with a breath that I wasnt able to before.
I can only pray that it gets me to the places that I want to get to


so right now...
I shall spill my pre-adult fastacies.

I want to be as Air stewardess for SIA
i know you think, that with the degree i could do much better. but you know you only live once. I want to travel. take this as my fling with the world. I want to "sail the ocean blue", smell the greener grass before I settle down in a cubicle in the wall of a 70 storey office building. I want to splurge my youth on glamour avenue, chanel glasses and hermes bag in tow. There is no better time than the present

I want to own a fashion line with Zhen
we have been dreaming about it since the genius sister conceptualised the idea, we are going to work out the kinks while on safari in south africa. We hope to start production as early as June, and we would like our friends to be our manequinns.

Need to own a home by 25
I am thinking of something in the east of singapore, something near the airport. HDB first, then possibly a condominium.

Event planning
I really love planning parties, I really hope to do that for a living. Right now I want to build my portfolio, so I would love to organise your party, and I dont expect to get paid.

public relations
get a degree in public relations from the public relations institute here and eventually work in that line.

dancing
keep playing an active role in dance synergy. my friends are going to be there for the next 2 years. I hope to improve technically as well as learning the do chreography. I might follow in the footsteps of the seniors and take ballet classes with dace arts. we'll see.

powerboat
i really want to get a powerboat license. I hope to do it in June. that reminds that I need to sign up for it.

i guess this is all that is in my head right now, so if i dont get these things accomplished you can whoop my ass.but for now this a little glimpse into my head.

if you didnt figure out why I sound slightly airy fairy, its cos I just watched confessions of a teenage drama queen. and I want to live like her.

listening to westlife

today I was studying at most burger, freezingmy butt off
trying to study CHANGING LANDSCAPES
quite happy with myself i finished 3 chapters

when the westlife CD started playing
good times... haaaaa...

its a CD that I havent heard in a long time and so many songs in there remind me of things, things I still identify with
memories that are too hard to forget.

i pondered the words, I got caught in a daze. I reallly felt the way I use to feel when the song was suppose to mean something to me. I still think about it from time to time. So much so that I think I should take it seriously.

I think one day, it shall all come together, go full circle. I look forward to that day.

I am/was suppose to be doing my assignment for NM but I was flipping the channels and..
golly, a walk to remember is on TV.. you might think, yes it has mandy moore, yes its a chick flick.

but the book is one of the most impactful i've read ever. Nichlos Sparks write such lovely sweet and tragic stories. I am simply drawn to each book. Especially this one.

The story reminds me of how much I've promised myself, its made me realise that I've loss track of the things that I've wanted for myself.

that love should make me want to do things bigger than myself. help me grow and teach me all the things that I fail to see.

so though I haven't finished my work. It was not time wasted. But I feel sad that I havent finished my work, and that I feel incompl

My reason, My excuse

I don't know which is which anymore
maybe on some level, I actually crave that attention
but i think that is just dumb.

I mean, I'm tired, I'm triggered to cry
so does it mean anything at all?

I stop myself from doing things that I Know are important
like my assignment that has been idle on my desktop.

I'm hating the person I am while I take the bus rides home
I feel so torn, I utter I hate you under my breath
who is it meant for, is a puzzlement
sometimes I'm sure its myself, other times I can't be certain

i can't even tell you if I am happy,yea i guess i am
yea, i guess I'm not

i just get this numb feeling that whatever I do is going to hurt myself
whatever I want doesnt have a simple answer
what ever I need is simply not clear
whatever happens I just have to deal
whatever the outcomes I will wither to bits

what ever the end, it not soon enough


i need to leave no to take catherine to buy things and go to the bank
can I even say no
i've got 1 major assignment due last saturday
and I am only 2 paragraphs in
i dont think there will ever come a time that I put work before everything else
maybe its me, maybe its the people i live with, breathe with, love with.