they never say a word.. yet there is this pressure for you to conform.. but tell me? why should you.. its utter nonsense.. don't listen.. not buy into it...

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

My Birthday Wishlist

I'm turning 21! Man.. I'm getting old, so i thought maybe since this is my final farewell to my childhood I should do something a little different and fora change ask for what I want.

so here goes nothing

1)10 markers to do my mindmaps
2)1000 piece jigsaw puzzle
3)digi cam - cannon IXUS
4)new running shoes
5)a watch
6)pumps
7)that cool hat-looks like a jockey cap
8)photos in frames to kick start my photo wall
9)tinkerbell bag
10)driving license
11)off-shoulder sweater/top
12)a job
13)frangrants- emporio armani white
14)20 shot glasses for the party
15)a new school bag
16)Samsung E360/370
17)beach towel
18)money to defray the cost of my birthday
19)bohemian chunky jewellry
20) a girls' night out - with everyone!!
21)

Sunday, February 19, 2006

The Potter's Hands...

Beautiful Lord, wonderful saviour
I know for sure, all of my days are held in Your hands
Created into Your perfect plan

You gently call me, into Your presence
Guiding me by, Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord
To live all of my life through Your eyes

I'm captured by, Your Holy calling
Set me apart
I know You're drawing me to Yourself
Lead me Lord I pray

Take me, Mould me
Use me, Fill me
I give my life to the Potter's hands
Hold me, Guide me
Lead me, Walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter's hand

I feel there is a lot of truth in what they said that they that I been harden by the the cynics of the material world that all I have I owe to the creator. And all I have to do is to let him guide me through life's troubles and its easy to do his will if you trust in the lord.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

How to get him to do what you wannt..

I was reading a really cool magazine when I came across this..
its really too bad that they don't have the full article online

you might call it manipulation, but I call it applied psychology. (so did them!)

Scenario 1
Suppose you want a man to do something for you, and even after asking dozens of times and feeling like such a nag he still hasn't got off that fat ass to get it done..

As the article goes, no matter how nicely you ask, he's going to hear it as an order.

Solution? men are status conscious- they have this need to feel in charge.. the general of the house!
so, don't ask him to do something, but put him in charge of a problem
Instead of "fix the drip in the shower" say.. in a really taa voice "the leak in the shower is driving me crazy"

If he's still not acting, consider going to him in distress... hehe
" I took the shower head off, and the drip is worst"

he's now not the general, but a war hero! with his tool to the rescue..

baseline - anytime you make a guy feel like a general than a private. He is motivated to do what YOU want.

Frm: How to get through to a man; Bruce Cameron
yes, a guy wrote this- a traitor to his gender
wahaha..
Girl Power

Thursday, February 09, 2006

I think i've lied to myself one too many times. That the truth seems too hard to take. I should be doing something anything but I do nothing about, and when I do, I always give in. Its never is a good time, It'll never have a happy ending. I know that my time is up and yet I still hang on.

As I wrapped myself tight on the cab ride home, I wonder what I could have done differently. I dare not hold on to the thought that things would be different hence forth. Too many disappointments and broken heart have taught me not. I just pray that next time it wouldn't hurt so bad, I pray for pardon.

That I have to deal with what's hurting the past, the scars, the apprehension, the discomfort. It haunts me. And no matter what I can't run. Its all up in my head.

I tossed and turned as I laid in bed. I can't believe that what we have is slipping through my fingers. my eyes are close, my mind racing, my being torn, my heart fleeting. I woke up to say goodbye. I woke with tears in my eyes. I want to curl up and die. I want to lay in bed forever tucked in untill my chin.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

help..

I keep wondering why i keep pushing myself or why do i even bother. Thank you for being a friend.

I really know who my friends are.

I only wish i could accept how i feel.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

there's got to be more to life.

I guess i could speculate at what my life would be if it all turned out differently.

For one thing, i'm afraid that i'm losing the friends I've made. But that just means i need to work harder at it.

Is life really about earning money and spending that cash. A viscious cycle ofprofit and deficit. I question my purpose for pushingmyself so hard.

I agree that i'm lucky to have everything at my whim and fancy. I'm blessed with health and happiness. And even though I'm been given all these wonders. I always nit pick the fault and criticise my life for what others have is far greater than compare. Is that fair?

I feel that i left my topic sentence in the trash. That my life has no more order. That I'm coming of age but not comingof independence and ability to stand on my own.

I need to dig deep.

let me love you...

I'm only starting to grapple at how it must have feel. At how emotions can take a toil on your well-being. Its hard to accept that I've caused that kind of hurt. I'm sorry.


I think, sometimes, love is just a really complicated word.
I can't help but feel sad that some people aren't so lucky to have someone love you back.
it gets tiring; playing games.


I have come to understand that it is easy to love
but painful as she doesn't allow you to love her

she doesn't need to love you back
but at least let me love you.

All you want, is for her to be yours

Its more than just sitting by the sidelines and watching you waiting on you
wanting you to be happy

more than keeping my peace, and letting you slip from my grasp

Its about letting me be the one that makes you happy,
about being the one who holds you.

I understand

i guess we girls can be pond scum when it comes to rejection. cold. disgusting. harsh.

you want to die, at the thought that she is being loved by another

at least she is happy: you delude yourself.