I think i've lied to myself one too many times. That the truth seems too hard to take. I should be doing something anything but I do nothing about, and when I do, I always give in. Its never is a good time, It'll never have a happy ending. I know that my time is up and yet I still hang on.

As I wrapped myself tight on the cab ride home, I wonder what I could have done differently. I dare not hold on to the thought that things would be different hence forth. Too many disappointments and broken heart have taught me not. I just pray that next time it wouldn't hurt so bad, I pray for pardon.

That I have to deal with what's hurting the past, the scars, the apprehension, the discomfort. It haunts me. And no matter what I can't run. Its all up in my head.

I tossed and turned as I laid in bed. I can't believe that what we have is slipping through my fingers. my eyes are close, my mind racing, my being torn, my heart fleeting. I woke up to say goodbye. I woke with tears in my eyes. I want to curl up and die. I want to lay in bed forever tucked in untill my chin.