life as I know it.

I think i've finally recuperated from a month of camp things...
life is starting to catch up with me, its many stresses, ups and down
'm still trying to keep my chin up...
E + R = O its a lot harder than they say it ought to be...

right now I want to do so many things at once
cant wait to begin, but i'm glad i'm just reading my book and soaking up the rays

I think i'm an emotional dessert but i've got the feeling thats all about to change
and i'm excited about my last school year..
about transitioning into full fledge adulthood.. i wont deny that i'm uncertain

I'm planning to squeeze dry 2006/2007 for all its worth!


Loving from a distance has always appealed to me, though I do agree that its so tragic. that you always eye from the sidelines in an almost stalker like manner. cant believe I never saw all the lessons when i firstwatched the movie.. I guess it was cos it stared leonardo dicap... hmm... scrafice, family, love, lust, compassion, guilt, cruelty, camraderie..

i apologise...

i've made promises to my friends and family.. much of which i have not kept, my excuse that i'm all tied up with work. I'm sorry.

Thanks everyone for being so understanding for still being my friend through it all. really appreciate it. I'm really blessed to have family, friends and a boyfriend who watches over me, loves me despite my short-comings...

I've not don't much this holiday except work, well i did got to hong kong... that was fun...

I've now started teaching at a learning centre, ermtwice a week.. this engagement is until the end of the year..
ilp is every sunday lunch time, its like a mini follow-up after camp.. although Kalai won't like me calling it that...

School is starting soon and I'm actually looking forward to it, the goal this sem is to get As for my 5 modules. woohoo!
only managed an A and 4 Bs the last time round.. i will jia you!

Much of my time spent now is doing up worksheets for my emaths lessons, engagements with AKLTG and spending time with drew.. other than that.. i'm not too sure where all the time goes..



Before the hols are up i'm looking to go wake boarding, bowling, to going to upper pierce, to sentosa, to botanical gardens, to skate... so if anyone is interested to do any of these things with me.. GIVE ME A RING K!!!

Chaos!

to drew

so I must keep it sweet and honest and truthful, not coated in deceit and confusion. I'll do my best.

So i'm reeling from a proposal to attend the landmark preview. i often forget that I work in this line as well, like I said yesterday that I've become really numb to just about everything. Going to these trainings is like a drug, which one can give me an emotional breakthrough, my next high.

Today I'm still feeling numb all over, its been a long time since I've done anything useful with my life. All I do is go to work or laze at home; oh! the emotional drudgery. and now I'm force to turn my thoughts on spin dry and decide if I want an emotional connection. I'm watching the making of star wars and I'm asked to write down my fears I face now. Its not what I want to do right now, not remotely in the right frame of mind.

But anyway I did take some time to see if I had anything to write.

In my book there are a few phrases that are very taboo...

I'm trying.. because that won't cut it
I understand where you are coming from... cos if you did we wouldnt need a conversationlike this
no one can understand the way I feel except myself.
I know you are... you dont have to tell me, because I would know better than you would
but... because it cancels everything you said a moment ago.


and when things like this is said to me repeatedly I cant help but be pissed.

its not that i do not want an emotional relationship, I do not think that an emotional relationship is possible with you. I'm numb to the promise that we can get better, reason being i've shut it out. the reason why you dont seem to feel anything from me, is cos there is nothing to feel. YOU MIGHT SAY THAT I'M SETTLING FOR LESS, but basically, this is how i've been feeling, that empty feeling that you want to fill right now.. I've blocked it all out.