People are wondering why I am still in town, so hear goes..

Andrew, CC and I were suppose to go kite surfing. We've crossed out these dates months ago, so I have been looking forward to going. However Andrew wasn't able to finish some pertinent time sensitive work, so there goes the trip to the beach.

So instead, I played vball. I really really need to work on my serve. Had an awesome dinner at gardens which involved cool live music. Then off to the board game cafe for a marathon of Ticket to ride, Scotland yard, Cranium and Quelf.. *ROFL*

"Holy, FUCKING AWESOME Batman!" as I would say.
"And all the brothers and sisters said, Amen!" you turn!!!

It didn't end there are 3am when we got kicked out of the cafe we went on a field trip to Mustafa!

and that was just Saturday...



today I slept in, but caught Dad just as he was going out for a hike, it was real quality father daughter time :)

Its hard to turn a blind eye, to be blind sighted by clouded emotions. I wished I could blame it on someone else. There is keeping busy and keeping needy. But it gets easier, to respect the boundaries and place pit bulls and lay whistles in between. Its hard to cry seeing instead bed knobs and broomsticks, strewn traps and barb wire in its aftermath.

fresh air and a change of scenery is doing me good, putting things in an angle I never thought I knew. with them gone the decisions and the feelings are all mine and no one can sway it favour or no favour

sometimes it does get a little scary. All that soul searching has lead me to the same reasons I walked out many moons ago. I can at peace that I wasn't fuzzy, today I'm fussy? maybe. maybe not. I'm just doing my best to be happy. I am.

Hoping to catch this movie soon. Maybe I can look on with openness

its progress slow and steady.. because this time tomorrow I'll be taking in the sun, sand and sea..

I can't wait.. I hope they are both going. I just want to get away from technology.

sometimes I am haunted by painful reminders
long after, it shouldn't matter
but still I feel so
It could be the simple things and yet it takes me back
not looking nor seeking and it still draws these painful reminders

All I wish is to be ignorant and lost in the brave new world
and yet I turn a corner and a painful reminder jolts me back to your reality
I been running and its been frustrating
what am I to do about the painful reminders

nothing but a painful reminder

I spent a good part of the early morning doing the dishes and clearing up the odd and ends. It was bittersweet that no one came to help. But it did help me realised that I can do it all. The rest of the way on my own. And though its not what I intended looking inward, getting centred leaves me sullen yet calm.

The weekend has ended, somehow I don't really know how I found the energy to do both the gathering and the party. Maybe because I was an hour late today meeting Beat, Serene and Ber.

and it was agreed upon that we are ALL going to hell.. so what difference would it make as long as I am happy. And alone makes me monumentally happier than anywhere else.

Sure I miss sharing my day with someone, going home to a hug. But it comes with its fair share of quirks. And I could get my fix from blogging and cuddling my future spaniel.

I can't wait to get my own place.

what do you do, when you know what you should do, and what you could do and conflict about it all. Think about the options and muddle about the feelings and feel that no matter what it won't turn out right.

What does it mean when you know how that makes you feels and your heart tells you its all right and when it all comes together the voice inside you still tells you to run.

What will you say when the answers are wanting and the time is waning and all you have is what you did not to start with

And in the midst of it all, there is a decision to be made, a path to take and choice to make and none knowing where you'd lead. And yet again it feels like its all turning, spinning and missing.

Maybe this time it'll turn out alright, painted wings and pretty things, but then again it could be broken strings and greying flings. Its a gander on me.

it was one of those songs that I kinda had in my ipod.. and it didn't strike me listening to it when i first got it. But it did this time. It's kinda adorable..

the week was absolutely amazing~~

Tea. Muse. DimSum. JazzMusic. VolleyBall. 10kmCharityRun.

song of the week

its just so cool, so perplexing, how people search for meaning in random everyday ordinary things. Just like how sometimes you hope to find meaning and reasons for the things that happen to you.

When I look back, I appreciate that life has thrown me the occasional curve ball.

better than I expected

I wanted first to go to Zouk, then to Wavehouse.. then ding donged and toyed with thoughts of clubbing the entire week leading up to the weekend.. And in the end did no such thing.

We ate till we were stuffed.. A sumptuous meal after the ungodly wait. Then board games till dawn. Mindless chatter in the patio, taking in not just the cool breeze but intangible hours of laughter and fun. It was barely 12 hours and we did it all over again today.

I loved every moment of it.

Its times like these that I wonder, will I give up an evening like this for love. Love should be simple unadulterated, fun and frivolous.. just like it was yesterday...

And yet... *shrugs*