when it hits you

i spent the last hour listening, to questions that I did not know the answers
listening to the pangs and strains with each inflection
and it made me think of my demons, maybe they ain't so

but it also made me think of all the reasons that I chose to run
we were different and there was nothing wrong
and even after so, I knew it all along
it was the easy answers that took me by surprise
I should have guess it's true, then taking them for lies

It's been to long and I barely remember why and how or what
I can't remember the reasons or how it came to past
I do remember one time when I held my breath and thought
this may just be the most simple thing I lost.

And though time has past and idol ism has crept and tainted those times
I yearn for something in the future more sublime
that may not be the same in whys and hows or whats
but tells the story of a love not lost but got

things are changing

with POE and work building up
it comes as no surprise that I feel kind of distant from the life that I'd come to find familiar. I notice that the next months will see lots of adjustments as my last bunch of friends enter the workforce and I'm left with even fewer people who share the lovely flexi work hours that I appreciate.

I going to be stuck with lots of afternoon watching the orchard crowd hasten by, my hope is that till then I'd have people who could stop and appreciate those moments.

Bernice, its your turn to enter the working world and I hope it has kinder on you. I understand that its tough, but its only a matter of finding your grove. Know that you'll always have me to bitch to if anything were ever to go wrong and that sometimes you have to give it a chance to worm its way to your soul.

its kinda strange being in a foreign place
being lost in an unknown space
caught in a strange malaise

yet through the shroud of misguided confines
is a space of discernment, a moment
where everything seems not that simple
but not so far from grasp

then you turn the corner of your one street existence
finding out that you only got a grip of
only tosses and resemblance of reality
and once again you left wanting, not knowing

and in all this time, its like that Shepard boy
you think back on all the things and the answers
weren't there just staring you in the face
naivety and greed got you walking to under par

yet could it be through all that time you knew
that it had to be, yet could it be
they're nothing with brand new
cos what's most important is not the craziness that follows
but the simple sounds and lonely hours that you left behind last.

mod 2 has ended and I have received the best gift of all clarity. And I spent some time doing parts integration only to find out that it worked a little too well. I totally had my guard down and boy oh boy...

Strangely enough, I didn't find it as crazy as I had imagined. Though the hours were a little more than I could take.

I learnt a fair bit about myself, and learnt that my self perception is not too far from where I truly am. And and only person limiting me is myself....

here's looking at you

I realise that its been a while best friend
where have you gone? and have you been well
why is it so hard to reach out to you
should it be

Many things have been happening,
and I'd love to share it with you
I know that times are different
things keeps us both busy

I hope that you know that it doesnt matter
that you'll always have a friend in me
and though I can regress till back when
and we don't feel the tugs like it then

in another time and place
we were friends, friends don't begin to describe
don't feel sorry that they are gone
but thankful that they happened
the stars can't align for ever
we just happen to be standing there when they did

I hope you dance

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance


I hope you dance


I never want to lose that sense of wonder that I have for life. To stop and look at the sky and know the possibilities are endless and that I am part of all those possibilities. The world is beautiful that way.

it pay to have friends
one that you hold close
comfort when times are tough
and aimless banter
when it comes undone
what do you do
but maybe cling on to the pieces
that broken dream
being an idiot wondering
if dumpty is not just another
piece of trash

I like thinking that
knowing that friends last through anything
because I like waiting
I like giving
and I like hoping

today i pray for clarity
for strength and comfort

life since, hasn't been the same
a little more bitter sweet
a little more complicated
a little more fuzzy
a little more fun

today its a sigh of relief.

Its fun to feel like a school kid again.
Roamed around tombstones and get driven around with the wind in your hair and the fear that I could die at any moment. I know I know, kids don't get to do things like that. But yesterday was out on a whim, at the Night Safari.. that didn't work out. Then off to the cemeteries :)Omg.. i know it was Halloween and all.. and I didn't dress up.. but I wore something just as *what the hell*.. a BOOMZ T-shirt..

sometimes I wish for silent.
sometimes I wish for laughter
other times I wish for nothing more that I more day