the weekend has come around, and all my hope for having a vegetative weekend is slowly fading into oblivion.

I know that I do not have to do anything, these are all things I want to do..

My choice.

Its a struggle between filling my days with the fun and exciting and being grounded well rested to do all the things I want to get done.

Pawning , Parties, Clubbing all in the works this weekend Exciting!!

But I can't loose sight of what's important too. That is to start investing and really improve my training quality. And sad to say I am barely scrapping the surface of both objectives.

take the highs, hang through lows
wishing that dawn never breaks
butterflies and cherry pies
things of the wildest imagination
delirious and unaware
maybe aware and without a care
the means outweigh the bitter end
and for a moment, lost in time
stars did align
commotion gone the dust settles
but still the moment lingers on
maybe, would be, could me
but you know its not
and through it all you stand tall
the figure you trusted not, was right all along
words were exchanged, opinion harshed
but when unwilling, there stands no use
in all but nothing you look on

POE was great.
Just the reason I needed to stop blaming myself for all my nonsense.

So now that has been all settled, realigned and such. The last week has been a constant push to get my new and improved life going.

The changes are slow and steady.. But hey, a rolling stone gathers no moss, and maybe before I'd know it. I can begin to pick up steam.

Some things worked, some things did not. Most importantly I found time to do the things that are important to me.

I had promised to meet only 1 group of friends this week. Be home daily by 11pm. Well that kinda went out the window. Met the girls, hung out with Greg, Supper with Eugene, Stayed out after work with the trainers and today am heading to Arul's for Deepavali. Hoping to hit the club later tonight.

I failed miserably, but that was because I thought that I could not get all the things I wanted done if I kept meeting up with people. Though amazingly, I have found the time this week to speak to people about how to improve my training. I learnt about investment from adam, Learnt photography and still found the time to read two books.

Oh to add, I still manage to squeeze in strength and weights training and even a run on the days that I did not go to the chiropracter.

With all these things being done, I can feel my energy waning. And was nice enough to give myself the day to sleep in.

Things this week are going great.

I'm kinda badass~~

I've been over thinking things, wondering what other people think. And when more than one person tells me that. I better start believing that it is true.

I guess that why I keep some of my thoughts private. But I guess this shall be an exercise in letting loose, the lest of self restrain. And to suffer the imaginary consequences and barriers that I perceive there are.

lets go..

POE is this weekend and I can't wait to dive into it. But boy am I nervous.. I do not know why I should be, just that I am. How people will treat me and watch me just because I should know my stuff. I do not want to anticipate. Most of all I want to have a tonne of fun meeting new people and really getting involved in an environment that is all NEW :)

Has it been that long since I've been with someone, Yeah.. And I guess to say the least, people are asking a big WHY.. I don't really have a good answer to give. Other than, I am not rushing it... I met Esther at her chalet reception and she was surprised that I didn't bring a plus one. Ceci at Gary's wedding was asking me if I am seeing anyone. Matthew asked so when is it your turn.. referring to marriage. It shouldn't matter at all.

It does not really bother me. Except I wonder, there has to be something up with me, like a sign that says in big block letters @@CRAZY DON"T DATE@@ or @@She's PSYCHO@@. I see some peeps breezing through boyfriends like the changes in season. I just wonder where do they find all these people.. and why is it that I find it so hard to even find one. oh well.. no hurry.

finally, I did a handwriting analysis on http://www.handwritingwizard.com/ and I got a result that I do not know if it is true. As I was telling Kenneth, it marks me as a loner who feels not with her heart but with her head. One who has difficulty expressing emotions except for a blow up or shut down. It also says that I have a very low.. I mean LOW perception of self.. And I think to some extent I feel that I am like that. On the other hand, it could be me feeling that I lack these things.. again just over thinking the situation.

Verdict? I chucked the report and decided to just be myself. If you do not like it, too bad!!~~

Wicker Park

I was hanging around, minding my own business, And as usual watching a tonne of TV. What are the odds that my favourite movie in the whole wide world was playing. I might have missed the first hour, but I started watching as Alex's lies were beginning to unravel.

I still cried when Lisa finally met Matt.And I guess I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Can you say Cathartic.. Umm.. I guess? I just really enjoyed it. Though popcorn and nachos would have been nice.





What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?

Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?