its so easy..

There's just something about this that makes me want to get out walk the street, sometimes even have a good cr
You should try it some time.

It gets harder every day, but I can’t seem to shake the pain
I’m trying to find the words to say, please stay
It’s written all over my face, I can’t
Function the same when you’re not here
I’m calling your name and no one’s there
And I hope one day you’ll see nobody has it easy,
I still can’t believe you found somebody knew
But I wish you the best, I guess.

‘Cause everybody knows, that nobody really knows
How to make it work, or how to ease the hurt
We’ve heard it all before, that everybody knows
How to make it right, I wish we gave it one more try
‘Cause everybody knows, but nobody really knows

It gets harder every day, but I can’t seem to shake the pain
I’m trying to find the words to say, please stay
It’s written all over my face, I can’t
Function the same when you’re not here
I’m calling your name and no one’s there
And I hope one day you’ll see nobody has it easy,
I still can’t believe you found somebody knew
But I wish you the best, I guess.



I had it all
But I let it slip away
Couldn't see I treated you wrong
Now I wander around
Feeling down and cold
Trying to believe that you're gone

Love takes time
To heal when you're hurting so much
Couldn't see that I was blind
To let you go
I can't escape the pain
Inside
'Cause love takes time
I don't wanna be here
i don't wanna be here
alone

-------------------

I really should stop picking all these emo songs as the lyrics of my life.. What can I say, I gravitate to it. It speaks to me. It's all really shocking to feel it turn out like this. I catch myself smiling every so often, just wondering. Having to do things on my own has got its perks. I get so mucht things done. I don't have to worry about anyone else. But I'm excited.

felt so loved :)

An indoor picnic, wraps, cake
Taboo with the girls + 2.
Ramen!
Dinner with my family
Supper with my close friends
Greetings from many, even one from half a world away.
Last but not least...
I got to sleep in


Thanks everyone for your love and birthday wishes

I made it through adversity

when I got the news yesterday, I was overwhelmed with dread. I cried it out.. gave myself a couple moments. But it didn't take away the fear, anxiety and physical pain I felt from the sheer image of confrontation. I kept positive, boy was it tough. I yearned, I sobbed. I'm glad to say that I made it through all on my own.

While on the bus today, this song really summed up my despair.



its funny how the world reveals itself.

Don't be disillusion with all the glitz and embellishment.
It's all a figment of time and loneliness.
Maybe it was good, maybe there were moments of flow
Com' on there were always things I held back on,
and it was each in turn
it wasn't as good. stop wishing that it was
you never wanted it to be anyway
let it fucking go
Get a grip, move on

as I ramble, today ain't the prettiest of days. But the moon set in an awesome fashion. The size of dinner plates low on the horizon. I drove to and from and around for work and it was all good. Hope to do it more often. It would mean getting my own car, I'm game. I'll do the math.

All I wish to hear today, is I don't care. And I will disappear without a trace


nerves can't get the better of me as I walked from room to room. It last an hour but passes in flashed and blurs of swirls. I don't know what I did nor what was said. But its all gone. It takes a reel in the right wrong direction to realise that its all done. Changes and resumptions can't affect the outcome. And thus this is where I currently stand - in the middle of nowhere, with little to no one. From time to time a familiar face would walk by, but, it is fleeting and frivolous. I'm started to hate my own ranting. I'm stuck in the muck, surrounded by emoness and laments of the yester B listers smiling back on the has been. I'm all wired wrong.

Only I can fix it. And when I fix it, It will all be good. Do I even want to get picked.. Today I say a resounding yes. Its hard to catch me like I am today. I going to sleep and grow it. wahaha.. Can you tell? Stress? Nah.. :)

I was on a roll, getting work done.. so i went to work with 1 hour of sleep. Spoke for 5 hour.. My first long haul..
Oh shit that reminds me.. my breakfast is still sitting in my bag 14 hours later.. Got home, crashed and burned. Woke up croaky, parched, dazed. Its a rarity, but this is one of those times I feel like knocking back some... need to unwind


Drifting in or out of stasis
can't quite tell if i'm which from which
an ease with drifting
the less to waste
I use to grip with ecstacy
torture my expanse
i'v learnt to no longer
smile like it was meant
today was tough
today was rewarding
what does my tomorrow hold

went for seafood with YY drove :)

My first Car Accident

I'm fine.. No, I wasn't the one driving

Was in the car entering the the PIE and as J was over taking this lancer, I felt the car skid out of control on the rain soaked road. I held my breath and prayed that he'll quickly regain control of the car. However instead I felt the car swing a hard left swerve around to face oncoming and hit the barrier.

Oh my god! I'm still intact. I looked over, and and so is J.
I am just glad that we are both fine.

It was cool.. an accident! I'm glad that the car did not suffer more than a dent and grazes

Wish list! Thngs I need to buy/beg/borrow/...steal..

Document bag for work
Laptop Bag for my NEW! Sony Vios (and NO! I'm not a traitor)
Yoga mat
Arm band to house my Nano when I jog :)
Cookbook - thinking of having a sit down dinner instead this year..
Sherry - for my french Onion Soup
New grip for my tennis racket
A lesson in computer skills - i.e. how to use windows...
Sneakers - thinking grey.. high cuts?
Would like to dabble in some photography.. where should I start? need a sign
Oh.. videos to fill my new toy!! Family guy, Gossip girl, heros,

OMG.. was at Wala last Thurs and was there when The UnExpected played. They were awesome, I must admit when I first got there they played SreamO rock so I was a bit confused at why Eugene would be interested in that. I mean I appreciate Rock because of its long technical intros, and guitar rifts in the solos as for singing in ScreamO rock.. well..

But The UnExpected really lived up to its name. They sang Muse, Spice Girls and even the song Love Notes.. haha.. rock version of course. Along with all the songs that they loved. It showed a lot of versaility, range, "gunghoeness" and most of all they were they so that everyone had a good time. Really enjoyed myself :) didn't feel like I was watching a local act. Can't wait to see them on live and loaded this week!!!

you were always waiting
imposiibilities, fairy dust and spunk
magic, movies and glitz
if you knew his heart,
why did you waver
step all over
when all you had
was all you wanted
needn't hold your breath

shielded from understanding, burned by assumption
fighting a phantom enemy
and if you can't let yourself fall to the darkness
something has eventually gotta give

its been a long time coming
found its was back to you
draw the animosity and suspicion
plaster with pristine clarity
and intuition.
a shot of laughter, past ignorance
new waffs of riled up brash
won't say that it'll be the right thing
fun while it last
hurt is all part of the equation
it always is.