I don't really know what I have been filling mydays with.. all I do know is that I'm fucking tired...
I'm seeing double vision as I type..

I knew I shouldn't have volunteered Ken... He's Late!!! and I should have guess.. Why didnt I follow my gut and called this morning... Fuck...

I have been meeting so many people after work these days that the days just all seem to blurr together.

Its not that I dont like meeting ppl.. I do... Iuv it.. Its just that I am really tired... after it all..

Gosh,I think I am getting old...

Whatever it is... I am really truly spent...

The last year was filled with up and downs just like my 19th year... I amonly hoping that like my 20th that my 23rd will be smooth sailing...

It might only be a forthnight since the new year dawned, but much has unfolded.
Looks like this shall be a year of surprises, demises and "realises"

I know what's the matter, its just a matter of wanting to get fixed...

i feel tired of running

I'd like to think I now what I am doing
that it will take all of me
but I am resolve
no amount of twisting can turn back what I did and said

funny to think that she saw it coming
she is wiser than we make her out to be

this time is about righting my wrongs
about growing

Human...

Can you tell me how we got in this situation,
I can’t seem to get you off my mind,
all these ups and downs,
they trip up our good intentions,
nobody said this was easy ride.

After all we’re only human,
always fighting what we’re feeling,
hurt instead of healing,
after all we’re only human,
is there any other reason why we stay instead of leavin’ after all

Can we get back to the point of this conversation,
when we saw things through each others eyes,
cause now all I see is ruin and devastation,
we all need some place we can hide inside and

After all we’re only human,
always fighting what we’re feeling,
hurt instead of healing,
after all we’re only human,
is there any other reason why we stay instead of leavin’

I’m smart enough to know,
that life goes by,
and it leaves a trail of broken bones behind,
if you feel I’m letting go,
just give me time,
I’ll come running to your side,

Can you tell me how we got in this situation,
I can’t seem to get you off my mind cause

After all we’re only human,
always fighting what we’re feeling,
hurt instead of healing,
after all we’re only human,
is there any other reason why we stay instead of leavin’

After all we’re only human,
always fighting what we’re feeling,
hurt instead of healing,
After all we’re only human,
is there any other reason why we stay instead of leavin’ after all

Any other reason
to stay instead of leavin’
after all, yeah

My head hurts

what if you had a choice between two task each with its own pros and cons...
One that would lead you no where?
Another to a place with no return?

I could sit there and bawl my eyes out would you come to a solution that is satisfactory. Would you give me a third option? My head hurts for thinking and thinking and knowing that I am over thinking.

I read into so many people all the time that I do not really know which is what I AM FEELING, and what they're feeling???
All I can say that I am driving myself nuts, and to think that I could dodge this for another month, how naive of me.

Is it really not as bad as it seems?
Am I really listening to my own thoughts or thoughts seeded by someone else?
What are my instincts telling me?
Is that how I really feel or do I filter that too?

what a way to start the new year....
I don't know whether to call it loading or unloading.

Yes, Its like everything you wish for coming true all at once. At first you smile and nod, maybe sigh a little. Then you begin to understand how too much good things is a bad thing. I use to think that you must try everything before you can decide if its good or bad for you. I now know that was a bunch of bullshit that has come full circle to bite me in the ass. I am hurling myself in all directions because no one will lead the way. No one trust themselves enough to lead me.. Lead myself you ask? I'm fuck up.