i dont really know what feeling better is...

So I've gotten a week to get over all the AKLTG camping that I've been doing, when really all i've been doing is mostly a lot of sleeping. I'm just really missing andrew but I know he has no time to see me. Feeling somewhat dejected and too listless to give a rats ass about everything else. I havent even began to look for a job even though that is / suppose to be my no. 1 priority. I'm sleeping about 15 hours a day a fair bit of the other time i'm watching TV, but I feel really sick to do much else.. not flu or fever sick... just languid with knots in my stomach, eating just makes me feel even more sick... right now i think.. i'mm wasting my time.. i want to sleep though it'll be dinner soon and jus dont feel like eating... keeling over in a self induced coma just ounds so appealing right about now.

why are you crying?

dearest trina,

what are you really thinking? Why is it that you feel you need to keep it all in? What do you really what to do about the situation that you are in now? I know that you miss how it was, but is that the only reason for you to take those steps back. There is still so much for you to discover and the only way for you to do it is to get out of that comfort zone. I know I know, you like it because its all so familiar. Heed my advise, things can only get better all you have to do is take risk every now and again. Here and today is the perfect opportunity.

No matter what please love yourself first, treat yourself with the respect you deserve and if anyone were toput you down in that matter. Please, please.. walk away from it. As much as I knot that will be a difficult decision, my advise is to walk away from it all, never never look back.

I have told you this many times before, I am hoping writing this all down will make you really realise that this is how you really feel about the situation and not that bullshit that you keep telling yourself about how it will all work out eventually.

all the confusion of growing up..

So I have finally graduated, I've finished my last camp of the season all the normalcy that I have experienced over the last three years have sadly come to an end. On one hand I wish there is some manual to tell me what should I do next, on the other hand I'm looking forward to what the great big world can offer me.

So now it is up to me to steer my own life, more so than ever before. I thought I was ready for it but it turns out I'm still procrastinating. I can't wait though..

Darling Shu Xian is right...
I have not updated my blog since I got back almost 2 weeks ago.
So updates about what I have been up to..

Well Africa was stupendeous!!!
Going on Game drive and the whole serenity of the african bush really helped me relax.
The pace of life there away from civilisation was lovely.
Fel wants me to put up the pictures from the trip.
The thing is i have 10 GB worth of pictures but I do not know what to pick..
Its hard to describe the trip in just a few words.

On the game drives I saw some really amazing animals, being so close to wild elephants, leopards and lions really let me understand the awe and respect that people feel for these creates. I got to see them in the context of their natural environment something that I would never see if i was simply content with the zoo. I same rhinos run, n let me tell you that they are fast. Lions croaching down in the tall grass one misty morning waiting on wildabeast to pass. the previos night the same pride of 7 lioness and 1 lion were feasting on an impala tearing at the flesh. Travelling off-road into a herd of elephants and observe them while they feed right next to our land rover all 25 of them. The run rise and sun set are breath-taking and so is the stars and the milky way.

I spent some time in the city and that was vastly different. its like any other city with brands and malls in santon big streets and construction sites. Mandella square is just life that space in MS with the big screen showing soccer and everyone is gathered for dinners and beers the only differents its 10 degrees out and there is a big statue of madela watching soccer too.

rose bank was where