CHIJYou scream for your school at any opportunity and
for some strange reason you love your school to
no end. You wear your belt so low that ACS
boys' pants would be considered high (yeah.
oh.. my..god)

Wad girl's school should you be from?
brought to you by

after this post.. i'm heading straight to bed... *yawn* i'm tired.. this week was rather draining.. even though i didnt really do anything significant.. jus been really kinda drained recently.. n looking forward to the hols..

oh.. you know after i wrote that entry.. ppl been pouring in msges.. i think thats so sweet.. thanks everyone.. i really appreaciate it..

i think god works in mysterious ways too... after my theatre studies practical class.. i managed to get picked to do the prac exam with what i felt was the stronger group in my class..

yea.. right about now its sounding super trivial.. n rather primary sch.. n plain superficial.. but at that moment.. jus getting picked did a fair bit to counter that feeling of alienation.. erm.. feeling really dumb right now..

so just to let everyone who loves me know.. muack muack.. that i'm over that...

i'm feeling all good.. hmm.. *yawn*

hun fan... u noe bothered.. erh.. yea.. its in chinese...

the exams are in 3 weeks.. and i'm totally unprepared.. n worst.. not doing anything about it.. jus too lazy to study.. beah i dun believe this..

basically i'm at war with myself.. cos i dont like the person that i am.. i wanna be happy cheeriy.. nice to ppl .. approachable.. u noe.. never quite been like that.. i get jeal;ous of ppl like that.. those who clique with ppl easily.. n ppl fall in love with.. u noe.. jus adore their personality.. i wanna be like them..

i know.. a cant be like that.. u jus have to be yourself.. its just that i get so envious of peeps like that.. it simply annoys me..

i'm not happy.. cos i think it would be so perfect to be just like them.. but its hard..its tiring to keep smiling all the time.. to be friendly.. and as much as i try to be like them.. there seem to be this barrier that doesnt allow me to do so... don't quite know what it is.. it takes be ages to warm up to ppl.. plus i never quite clique the way the others do.. i dont know how to explain it.. its like i dont belong.. n you feel really alone even though everyone is in the middle of a heated discussion... i cant put my finger on it.. would someone pls tell me what it is?

and also there seems to be this barrier that hinders me from making new friends..
its probably jus me.. being paranoid.. but i dont noe.. i get it all the time..

i'm probably not making much sense to you... but yea..

"Lost Without Each Other"

I ran into your best friend today

Twelve nights since you ran away

I asked about you and she said, can't say, can't say

I'm feeling lonely and it seems to stay

It's been a while since I felt that way

Well, I can tell you there's no room to play this game

All I know is what I'm missing

What I'm missing is your kissing

Are you listening

Don't go, don't go telling me you're alright

There's no room for getting uptight

Don't go saying that you're OK

When you're lonely

Baby, don't go telling me we're over

When you know you're my one and only lover

And I won't go saying that we're OK when we're

Lost without each other

'Cause we're lost without each other

'Cause we're lost without each other

I didn't mean to start the last big fight

You never should have hung up that night

All I want to do is make things right

Make it right

Listen, with all the choices that we chose to make

And all the promises we chose to break

We were busy making big mistakes, yesterday

All I know is what I'm missing

What I'm missing is your kissing

Are you listening

Don't go, don't go telling me you're alright

There's no room for getting uptight

Don't go saying that you're OK

When you're lonely

Baby don't go telling me we're over

When you know you're my one and only lover

And I won't go saying that we're OK when we're

Lost without

I can tell you one thing

We're not better on our own

I'm tired of running from my feelings

Are you listening

All I know is what I'm missing

What I'm missing is your kissing

Are you listening

Don't go, don't go telling me you're alright

There's no room for getting uptight

Don't go saying that you're OK

When you're lonely

Baby, don't go telling me we're over

When you know you're my one and only lover

And I won't go saying that we're OK when we're

Lost without each other

Lost without each other

insulted...

didnt realied that i havent blogged in a week..
haiz..
so yea.. rather pissed off bout something..

so just here to rant a tad...

street smart- having the shrewd resourcefulness needed to survive in an urban environment
shrewd- keen awareness, sharp intelligence, and often a sense of the practical

i think i get the idea..
hmm.. n so maybe you think i don't

so you sae..

rules are meant to be broken.. so maybe thats what i'll do..
i shall..

jus got epiphany..~!!

i shall do what i want .. no qualms..
*rub hands*

depressed

it may be empty words to you
emotions run high
you're here to carve your rule
but you can't make me cry

you never listen to the moment
force it upon me
my words come out empty
make me grovel and plea

head high against the world before
humble servants we
a master unworthy
wants unsatisfied

i've given you my wealth, my dignity
what more shall want
i offer selflessly
your will, it comes crashing smashing

"longing"

At a point where I'm lost for words
at the end with jus my heart
it's much too cliche
but I'll give it all
than to lye in wait
never knowing
a perfect moment

it's tough that time is against us
your touch fleeting
I miss you so damn much..
as if I do not have enough on my mind
i'm tired of the world
waking up beside you
a memory by which I last each day

I figure I might be obsessed
cos I get nothing done
shut my eyes
and you're standing before me
but ending far too soon
your face etched into my hands
arms outstretched
my silent cry

it hurts to love
so hard, so fast, so real
a tear is shed today
for a tomorrow that is brighter
a painful past
an unsure future
i know not what it holds
promise..
hold nothing back

this is how i feel...

God Is A DJ

I've been the girl with her skirt pulled high

Been the outcast never running with mascara eyes

Now I see the world as a candy store

With a cigarette smile, saying things you can't ignore

Like Mommy I love you

Daddy I hate you

Brother I need you

Lover, hey "fuck you"

I can see everything here with my third eye

Like the blue in the sky

If God is a DJ

Life is a dance floor

Love is the rhythm

You are the music

If God is a DJ

Life is a dance floor

You get what you're given

It's all how you use it

I've been the girl- middle finger in the air

Unaffected by rumors, the truth: I don't care

So open your mouth and stick out your tongue

You might as well let go, you can't take back what you've done

So find a new lifestyle

A new reason to smile

Look for Nirvana

Under the strobe lights

Sequins and sex dreams

You whisper to me

There's no reason to cry

If God is a DJ

Life is a dance floor

Love is the rhythm

You are the music

If God is a DJ

Life is a dance floor

You get what you're given

It's all how you use it

You take what you get and you get what you give

I say don't run from yourself, man, that's no way to live

I've got a record in my bag you should give it a spin

Lift your hands in the air so that life can begin

If God Is a DJ... If GodIf God is a DJ (life is a dance floor)

Get your ass on the dance floor

If God is a DJ

Life is a dance floor

Love is the rhythm

You are the music

If God is a DJ

Life is a dance floor

You get what you're given

It's all how you use it

"Shadow"

I was six years old
When my parents went away
I was stuck inside a broken life
I couldn't wish away
She was beautiful
She had everything and more
And my escape was hiding out and running for the door

Somebody listen please
It used to be so hard being me
Living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
Living in a nightmare
A never-ending sleep
But now that I am wide awake
My chains are finally free
Don't feel sorry for me

All the days collided
One less perfect than the next
I was stuck inside someone else's life and always second best
Oh, I love you now 'cause now I realize
That it's safe outside to come alive in my identity

So if you're listening
There's so much more to me you haven't seen
Living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
Living in a nightmare
A never-ending sleep
But now that I am wide awake
Then I can finally see
Don't feel sorry for me-

Mother, sister, father, sister, mother
Everything's cool now
Mother, sister, father, sister, mother
Everything's cool now
Oh, my life is good
I've got more than anyone should
Oh, my life is good

And the past is in the past
I was living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
I'm living in a new day
I'm living it for me
And now that I am wide awake
Then I can finally see
Don't feel sorry for me
Don't feel sorry, don't feel sorry for me
Don't feel sorry, don't feel sorry for me

Living in, living in, living in the shadow
Living in, living in, living in a new day

"God Will Make a Way"

God will make a way
where there seems to be no way.
He works in ways we cannot see.
He will make a way for me.
He will be my guide,
hold me closely to His side,
With love and strength for each new day;
He will make a way. He will make a way.

I haven't been giving anytime to god lately
it's funny how god like to drop you hints..
in the form of an sms...
he really helped me get through last week..
and i didnt thank him..
couldn't squeeze 1 hour for him..
bleah.. i'm disappointed with myself

i dont know what to do with you..
why did you get yourself in such a mess
are you jus over thinking the situation
or is it really that bad..
everything happens for a reason
but for now it remains unclear..

we'll see this friday..

i've noticed that i blog considerably less... but i wonder why.. i guess its cos i'm tired of the irony of blogging.. that my private thought are in full public view.. and i hate concealing my thoughts.. leaving everyong second guessing.. it can be kinda fun.. but everything starts to sound the same after a while..

should i care what ppl think when they read.. are people open enough to accept my entries for what they are.. even though it might be brutally honest and hurt someone.. i think not.. so until then, what am i to do...

continue? change... go where?

"addiction"

i feel so lost
without a purpose
because i've been
to the moon and back
i've seen the otherside
another world
so comforting
so dark where i belong

I've seen the otherside
where i lay to rest
its open arms my haven
a soothing caress
drawing me in deeper
answering my cry of pain
an unlikely paradise
within the tresses of the night

Its cold breath
sends shivers
I grip even tighter
our lives now entwined
my blood, it's blood
bleeds from the soul
as i take each painful breath
i shut my eyes, my sadness

there arms outstretched
i lean to embrace
what once i felt
slowly dissapates
yearning its return
a distant sensation
its strong presence
now ever so faint

a foreboding loneliness
my cries dismisses
writhing in agony
just a whiff
and i'll be free...