the message tones and I click through, and feelings melt. places are meted and though I want not haste. I can't bare to bid adieu. the day has been long, and spirit lifted. And I hope to mirror respite. I listen in and bid good night. And all too soon till morning's light.

I hope to be able to give a helping hand
as has mine, your week seemed long
let nothing befall you, no sadness nor pain.
may our paths meet.

with all that is happening around me and week whizzed by like a whirlwind. A happy one of work, friends, family and food. Things are looking up and supper with lionel and bernice is always a comfort. They give me clarity and let me vent. Not to mention, I think that they ask the funniest what if questions; second only to Kristy. I can't wait to take action and come out tops. I excited about this new phase of my life and there is no stopping me now. I might not be the smartest, but I will work hard to get what i want.

its all unfamiliar and there the ground seems to shift beneath my feet as I search for guarantees, though I find none. I try to contain my excitement, my enthusiasm to run ahead to see if the coast is clear or some resemblance of what may lie ahead. And I have to catch myself mid step, hold it. Roll with the punches, smile and don't let anything. And I mean anything stop you from you best life. Let them tease, let them say what they want. But never be pressured or rushed by the actions of others.

today I am catching myself watching and waiting. A feeling I thought long forgotten, purged from my system. Learning to embrace this is so hard, every fiber makes me want to run and fall back into old traps. Thoughts that I am unworthy, feelings that I can't possibly be good enough. That love eludes me and being undeserving.

my humble hope that he'll pick me up and say everything will be okay and that maybe receive a tender peck on my temple.

I don't know if it wrong to think this way, but something I promised myself many moons ago was not to loose myself in the everydays of someone else. That in a relationship never to be fallen. It OK to be vulnerable, but don't be pathetic.

my anchor is that I am my own person, and that nothing can take away from me. Stay true, stay real, lean in not on.

I have a little confession. that this feeling is new to me. a compelling feeling that I know, a assurance that there a reason to stay a little while, maybe longer. When drew said that it could work, "I know". I admit, I never did. But with little more than a hair's breath to hang on to, I have feelings that run a little deeper than it should.

how i'd walk beside you

how did I ever,
I thought I had it all along
wicked schemes and childhood dreams

how did I ever
find you, reach this
had I been lost without a clue

but in my mind and in my dreams
did I catch you, lean into
slowed two steps so I'd walk beside you

I'm anxious and afraid that
we're not on the same page
and that all I have are figments and fiction

days a long and drawn
did I catch you, lean into
you slowed two steps so I'd walk beside you