today I am catching myself watching and waiting. A feeling I thought long forgotten, purged from my system. Learning to embrace this is so hard, every fiber makes me want to run and fall back into old traps. Thoughts that I am unworthy, feelings that I can't possibly be good enough. That love eludes me and being undeserving.

my humble hope that he'll pick me up and say everything will be okay and that maybe receive a tender peck on my temple.

I don't know if it wrong to think this way, but something I promised myself many moons ago was not to loose myself in the everydays of someone else. That in a relationship never to be fallen. It OK to be vulnerable, but don't be pathetic.

my anchor is that I am my own person, and that nothing can take away from me. Stay true, stay real, lean in not on.

I have a little confession. that this feeling is new to me. a compelling feeling that I know, a assurance that there a reason to stay a little while, maybe longer. When drew said that it could work, "I know". I admit, I never did. But with little more than a hair's breath to hang on to, I have feelings that run a little deeper than it should.