I'm an addict, obsessed with the feeling of falling. and when that feeling dies, i measure its value in romantic notions and gestures of tenderness. And when all that falls into a system, it feels like the feelings begin to dissipate.

drew told me thats not it. these expectations are outta whack, and I would have to agree. I like to think that I've dealt with it. I don't need the earth to stand still when I fall, nor does the world even have to know. But I am truly afraid that in the heat of the moment, that I forget all the important lessons that I've learnt and make those mistakes again too. The worst thing I can do is to hurt the ones that I love, push them away and act like I don't care. I've done that for so long, that I suppose its coming full circle. I now have to endure the same treatment I once thought was fair.

how will 160 strokes suffice, how do I say that it feels like you're far away. I think about how you're doing and I wonder if you've too. I hope to see you but asking would seem only out of place. I strangely thought that I might disappoint you but more so now, I'm afraid that you'll hurt me. How have you been? you ask. Only guilty that I still feel for you. Fine *send

With each day I find myself closer to you and with each breath falling faster. It was never about finding or fearing. All along you were right her waiting. I'm sorry if I never knew you. I see you, clear as day. The sun shines so brightly on us today. And I can't wait. Hopeful, just looking at you.

This week has been dedicated to you
Thank you for always caring for me in your simple, quiet ways.
helping me fall in love with life, and making me the person I am today.

I'm going to miss you dearly, I didn't think saying good bye would be so hard.

For my first walkman, for all the rides to and from school. You were always reliable, always there when I finished, ready and waiting with strawberry yogurt :)

I never realised I knew so much about you.. but thinking about it now. It must have been tough to do all those things for me, not expecting anything in return. I don't thin my Thank yous can ever suffice.

I love you, I hope that you are alright.

Its not "goodbye" Grandpa, its just "so long"..