I'm an addict, obsessed with the feeling of falling. and when that feeling dies, i measure its value in romantic notions and gestures of tenderness. And when all that falls into a system, it feels like the feelings begin to dissipate.

drew told me thats not it. these expectations are outta whack, and I would have to agree. I like to think that I've dealt with it. I don't need the earth to stand still when I fall, nor does the world even have to know. But I am truly afraid that in the heat of the moment, that I forget all the important lessons that I've learnt and make those mistakes again too. The worst thing I can do is to hurt the ones that I love, push them away and act like I don't care. I've done that for so long, that I suppose its coming full circle. I now have to endure the same treatment I once thought was fair.