This week has been a whirlwind to say the least. It was a leisurely ferry ride to M'sia. Other than that, it was meetings meals rush, games, presentations, discussions for much of the 2 day we were there...

I think the highlights for me we getting to see all the trainers in action, the chance to learn from the very best. The opportunity presented before me to take a chance on myself, to grow, learn, experience it as a Trainer. I am honoured to work with such talent.

Over the course the first afternoon, I was made to put myself on the line, think on my feet. It was fun, exhilarating, daunting. I learnt about myself, I learnt my limits and capabilities. While talking about self-esteem and tools during the first station. I couldn't think of anything to say, so I dug deep. What I came up with was honest and true. My voice became wavering, earnest. I spoke about how I do not have very much self esteem. That i get by each day with a conscious decision that I shall Be Confident. and that if I keep to this, that maybe Maybe one day I shall be granted the tools, the gift of self-esteem.

I made Melvin Stop. Listen. i know that what I have/displayed is very raw.. but I intend to learn to channel it better..

Looking forward to it.. :)

A day to dan:s

I woke up early yesterday, yea a Saturday. And for the first time since the concert I took the bus to school for dance ~ Dance Auditions.. I think i'm getting a bit too old for this, but hey my main purpose is to have Fun! It tickles me that though all the choreographers for the upcoming Terp are from Synergy, that everyone has their own personal style. Kelvin's vocabulary of movement varies from Gillian's or Cedric's.. But everyone is different from Cedric. Lol.

And though often times in that couple of hours I felt out of place and a tad kinesthetically challenged, it was terrible fun. I loved every minute of it. THAT I think is what dance is all about. Doing something different for a change.. movements, posture, expressions... each choreography allowed me to share a piece of their world, through their movements I get to see the world through their eyes.

And in the evening, I went with them to watch NDT at the Esplanade. Contemporary, polished, fluid, balanced. The performance was superb. What I noticed even more was how people who were there that evening were so interconnected. If I dare say, the face of dance in Singapore is not the Prima Ballerina at SDT, instead is the student, teacher, professional.. the ordinary person. But when the clock strikes, and the dancing begins they transform into dancers and performers. These are people passionate about their craft, and knows the limitations of the pursuit of passion. Last night I saw people like Fannie, Ginny, Corrine. All great dancers in their own right. All people who I have got the pleasure to dance in the same room with. I just think that its such a pity that many of these people who have worked so hard for their craft will give it all up for a desk job come graduation. Enough said.

What can I say about NDT. the movements surprised me, contemporary and purposeful. The male dancers.. what strength.. the way they lift and swing their partners.. I might be sitting in the circle seats but I feel the "woosh" as they swing and toss their partners. the use of props/ multi media really added a great dimension to it.. overall.. excellent!

Human By Jon McLauglin

It keeps playing in my head since watching Scrubs this afternoon..

Can someone tell me how I got in this situation
I can't seem to get you outta my mind.

Guess its probably not necessarily a bad thing. Just need to internalise that having feeling is never necessarily a bad thing. That the world is made up of shades of grey. And I navigate it just like the rest.

After all, we're only human
Always fighting what we're feeling
Hurt instead of healing
After all we're only human
Is there any other reason
Why we stay instead of leaving
After all

So I need to connect the dots to the muddle thats inside my head, I hate to say this but sometimes i'm afraid. I know that some day soon I'll find my way. I know it can only give me strength..

I've finally found myself again, it took me all this pondering and self infliction to finally figure out.. I feel just like the shepard boy in the Alchemist.. that what I had is exactly what I wanted. I've stopped wasting my time on that, harping on the past. And though it sometimes feels so sayand to leave it behind, I have other things to look forward to. I can't wait..


Can you tell me how we got in this situation
I can't seem to get you off my mind
All these ups and downs they
They trip up our good intentions
Nobody said this was an easy ride

Learning about life..

... from the most unexpected of places..

For all the times that I dissed Scrubs, today I gave it a chance, and it was by far the most honest show I've watched. Yea I do agree its kinda quirky. But hey everyone has their quirks. NO ONE is perfect, at least not like the rest of the "humans" that they show on TV.

Amidst all the randomness that is Scrubs, I felt at its core it was down to earth. Loved it! I'll keep watching...

My song of the week..

Every now and then you come to mind, thanks. I miss you. But you know. I'll quit while I'm ahead. You still make my heart ache. Hope it gets better with time. I dont understand why I dare say it here, yet when I stare back at you the words dont fully form.

~End~