mind wanderings

i finally sent out my first resume today. a major mildstone for me... its one baby step in the right direction. i shall send out 5 more by the end of today.. for now I shall finish up on my book..

I'm missing all my friends, especialy drew but i know he's really busy with everything he has going on..

for all those wondering.. i'll love to go out some time.. all you need to do is call. I havent met up with a lot of you in the longest time.

I need to go shopping for a new wardrobe for work..

and after talking to Changyi yesterday i wanna go to Cambodia...

i have shut myself in a little room
denying how I feel
hoping to turn back time
I know its not for real
I'm looking in all the wrong places
for the things I think I need
but I know for certain
I have to look inside me
I'm wondering why I dont do so
I guess, it's what i'll find
all the tears and sorrow
i tried to leave behind
i know I need to find strength
to stand alone, stand proud
but i still chose to wallow
unable to ease my doubt
i need to decide to change
to finally make a stand
that I need to think more positive
to stick to the plan
be self-assured and confident
its not too big a dream
but it must be a decision
that I firmly believe
it must start today
to look forward and far
leave the past behind
it didnt take me far

It is scary.. all the structure in my life has dissapated, I've been cooped up at home for the last 3 weeks brooding about not having enough energy to do anything. That I do not have classes to go to, dont have work to go for, the ppl that have been around in my life are changing with the times and I really want to hold on to all that. All I could muster was day-time hours in front of the tele..

But I guess thats life and I've to get moving.. Starting today