what a way to start..

Wed is my off day from sch and i spent much of it lazing about the house and catching up on some shut eye..

then came Thurs,

after 2 hours of lect i rushed home to meet Mandy and ShuXian for a manicure!!! It was great fun just hanging out and getting our nails done and talking about all sorts of silly things...

after that we watched th 40 year-old virgin a rather brainless show. Followed by dinner with Ber at BOTAK JONES.. i do agree that the steak was really good!

We hd a couple of games of bridge at Ber's home after then I rushed to Chompz to meeet Ariel n KenZhang just to chat..

I got home at 11.30

BUT...

Friday was just insane by those standards

I had classes that ended at 4...
i rushed off to meet Ariel n Christie @ bugis
somehow after touring round the library we ended up drinking milkshakes at Minsi's workplace moonriver

then we both parted... I went to meet Cheryl n Michelle at Chinatown
we had a blast goofing off at ogling at mua chee..

while at Chinatown I got a call from Eugene to go to MOS
and since i was round the corner from the place I agreed to join them in an hour.

So after queueing only for a short while... we got in..
we showed charles n gaynor a brief tour of the grounds

n i was off to brewerks to meet Drew n GuoHao
for an hour an a half
I was there helping them understand the inner workings of the female psyche.
while munching on nachos and cheese

at 11 i rushed back to MOS to a full house and 2 hours of RnB jives...

i got home at 2...

spring cleaning

I'm still in the midst of re-doing my room. its still looking messy, just like what's going on in my head... I must get it up by today!

its a desert here...

I wonder why i have to coax myself to do things that I tell myself i do not want to do, or have anything to do with anymore. I'm crying inside each time I make the same mistake. Maybe I'm just a polarity responder, I know I am. why and how did i make something so simple, so painful so heart wrenching so torn. I've created a monster of myself, trapped in this ficticious lifestyle that i want to have. Me happy, perfect? Each time i walk away I want to die, look what you have done. torn urself to shred, food for the dogs.

I can't decide what i want to do with myself or the joy that has been in my life. Maybe I should accept it, take it at face value. Smile the smile of a lifetime. Keep telling myself until something goes totally wrong and we turn to hate each other... Honestly I don't know which is worst. I don't think I can do anything without making him hurt. I can't hurt him. Contemplating this make me want to lash out in tears, how can something so special be not what i want. but that is just it.

Everything is starting to crumple before my very eyes. Do i let go of someone's dream. Is it the right, selfish thing to do? I just wish there was an easy answer, an even if there was, i probably don't want to hear it. I'm kinda numb. I'm reaching, all i grab at is straw. I'm falling.

I want to run, but to where. I promise to never leave, maybe that is what i have to do. No more empty promises.

I'm dying inside knowing that having read this you are going to hurt, I'm hurting. and i may never know how you feel.. I feel terrible. I love you.. which is everything of the nothing that i understand.

I've been tagged by MANDY

RULES OF THE GAME:

1. Post 5 weird/random stuff abt yourself.

2. At the end, list the names of 5 ppl who you want next to this and leave a comment "YOU ARE TAGGED" in their blogs and tell them to read your blog for the rules!


Randomness...
1. I do cartwheels with my left foot
2. I can't squat to save my life
3. I once wrote "SweePing" as my name on my worksheet
4. I've just finish painting my wall 3 different colours
5. I've got 10 toes


the peeps i'm going to TAG are...

Andrew
Ariel
Steph
Nicole
Eugene