Jiji asked me at Dim Sum so why did he win, and let me clarify that there is no competition here.

and so days before I hung up my hopes and headed back to the drawing board. And hoped that one day it's be my turn.
When no one else wanted to go and watch that movie, he did. That really was it. That tipped the scale.

I spoke to Sherman.. and we bantered about it and has been extremely encouraging, my eternal optimist :) , Andrew coaxed for a different answer and by the time Cheryl asked for details.. I replied it happened like lightning speed.

nobody said it would easy, no one ever said it would be this hard.



toss and turn at thoughts of you and you.
dreams of cuddles and long toasty campfire side conversations
and I've finally put a face to the happy anticipations, figments, notions
only to find that they only make me furrow and fear
when my heartstrings tug and social convention pulls
and all that keeps me going are thoughts and time with you
in my mind and around me everything is shifting and I hold still
eyes closed, arms around. *holding my breath*

sleep eludes me, from stress and other things
and now that the week is winding down I'm glad that I do too.
I pray for sleep this night

today a little birdie told me "Golden rule is to breathe continuously" to which I replied, that may be true for diving.. to which the birdie replied,"That advice is for everything. Including how to live."

:) how true..

I am nervous and adjusting. Its hard to add one more thing to your life and still balance the equation. Something has got to give..

I'm holding my breath, it feels a little strange to feel pang of longing. Giving in to leaning in. it feels strange but wonderful. And a point was raised, one that I have dealt, but like you know saying and doing is two totally different things. We'll see..

I hold my breath and catch myself being to think about him throughout my day. And I teeter between wanting and resisting. What seems like an everyday thing for him, makes me melt with gratitude. Mostly because I usually look out for myself and having him around makes the evening double as amazing.