I am determined to leap into the darkest depths of disenchantment, to sing when there is nothing to sing about and laugh to pass the time. There is little who will understand and many who will stand in my way and yet, I am never alone. When all is full and the day is silent, my eyes weld up in tear of lost and regret. I never thought it can hurt more than in already does and it does prove me so awesomely wrong. When I think I can give in, I think and retreat back to what I know. It seem easy. With all that is going on, there is no energy to look into all that matter. All I feel is a muddle of fudge and I feel that I am so screwed up I must be damaged. I have no courage to say what I truly want and find myself sabotaging me into corners.
and you know what. what ever you focus on grows in your reality. and I have focused on this too long.
I hope for friends to spend time with and grow. A place of safety that I may turn to at the end of a long week. It makes me smile just to think about these things and just simply be there. Do work together and maybe have a chance to have some fun.
