I'm running, stumbling.
to it and away all at once
does that make any sense?

It draws me in and envelopes me
spits me up like it was all jus a dream
its growing its controling,
what am I to do..

I'm running in cirles, running to and away from you

I just finshed the Wolf Blass event on Wed, it was great I had lots of really good wine.
For those two days, i got to live the HIGH life. It was great while it lasted.

All through out however i was having this terrible cough.
Try sitting through a CNBC filming trying your best to keep that cough in.
Man it was exscruciating!!

So the event was over and I went to see the doctor, this was wednesday night.
Now its Friday an i am still at home my voice is all hoarse and croaky and when I cough
my body flails back and forth, my eyes water and when I woke from my afternoon nap yesterday
my eyes were all crusty from all the dried up tears.
Man it sucks to be sick.

--------------------------

I wonder where to files these thoughts and emotions
because they are really out of place
maybe once again its me in denial
about a truth I can't face
I'm crying, I'm dying, I'm jealous, i'm kerniving
my mind is racing, i'm hurt, i'm happy
I promise to never say how I feel
but if you asked me now i doubt I could give a real answer
does any of this makes any sense

in the moments in between breaths there is a calm
frozen in that moment a rhythm that feeds my heart
in that heart of mind is a wrench so cold so stiff
that hurls my head into a spin of longing

the depth of my gut doesn't know what my toes are thinking
as I walk at the wrong time in the wrong direction
my feet dance to this silent song
this secret wish that even its lips dare not utter

I'm rambling because I don't want any truth to be spilled
yet I am digging in every direction hoping that I strike a nerve

If I could be honest I doubt I would like what i hear. i doubt that anyone will
oh I hurt, my body hurts my head hurts my heart hurts and i want all this pain to subside
but I know in order to get better, it needs to get worst
so i am holding back to floodgates
holding on to the remanants of the life that I have