Suffering from depression

When I drove home last week someone horned at me, it was a mistake on my part. I was too busy singing along to the radio to check my blindspot. But as I made my way home I began to cry because I was so defeated by the fact that I am a bad driver that I shouldnt be on the roads at all.

Its just one of the times that I feel defeated and that life is not worth living.

I don't want to feel that way, but I do. I cry just like that.

then I feel really numb, I like numb
like you're too high to care
just staring blankly

i think andrew gets the brunt of it
its my i'm not worth anything just dump me speech
I'm sorry that I cant help myself
i hate being controlled by it

it makes me what to be ugly, get fat
pig out, hurt myself, starve for attention