more and more I am realising the shortcoming of my actions and that I take full responsibility for them. I Don't want to make those shortcomings again. They arent mistakes. I would not treat them as such. my new hope is to fervently fall and to be more assertive in what I want and not letting logic trump all my feelings ultimately if I should be so lucky to roll with the punches, listen to my heart, not give into loneliness and be prepared to not always have the answers but believe in my gut. I feel like I owe you more than just my words. I know now that if you gave me more time it would not matter. Some things with us were not meant to be. I tried to ignore them and they festered. I always hoped that you would.. but I know that is not you and how could I ask you to. All I hope is that I stay away and stop taking from you, because I feel like I have taken so much and given so little and yet I feel like I have nothing much of worth to offer you. And that which I gave I gave till it hurt and it hurt so much that I had to walk away. I lay quiet, silent and kept you in the dark. That is the way I shall proceed. I toggle between wanting something new for myself, something better and the strife with my emotions to run, deal with it myself and wallow. I hope for bright and happy and uncomplicated for simple, sweet and maybe the L word. leave it alone its found a home and till its time it'll find you too stay awhile refrain my child and lay with me what is the worst case scenario, can you live with it yes I can and I will bear its consequences