thrill seeking?

how best would you define it?
doing something that pushes the boundaries of what is "safe", for the purpose of fun.

experimenting?
doing something to test out your hypothesis.

Nope not really that either.

whatever it is, I will admit that I might know what I am doing. But I will say this, that I am caustious.

I guess that is why things like this is never a science. there is no certainty, guarantee.
But hey, sometimes there are risk involved. I rather take a chance on myself now, than regret later.

But like cass said, I am afraid too. If something goes terribly wrong, my worst fear is that I continue to let it hurt me. Well, so I shall ut myself on the line.

that nobody's actions can hurt me except my own. that if/when lines are crossed that I must walk away.