With all the things going on around me, connection is fleeting. And for many reasons its my own unravelling that makes everything into one big muddle. Its hope that grow the possibilities and the make belief that things will fall so aptly in place. Then in comes the cynic with the scowl tearing apart the delicate lace.

I'm fumbles, I'm crumbling
and the world wont hold much longer
because stand here and holding it all together
has taken its toil on my buckling knees and heavy heart
I look back at you and see the ravages of time
a person that no one cares about, except for Hi's and Bye's
It's not like you're lost, you never wonder far
yet no one know you, the heart you let slide
you souless, shell of a person

its once again, I ask myself what did I do to have a week like this happen to me. So many ups and downs. It's all catching up with me.

I do not know who I am anymore, what I want, nor what I am good at. All I know, that this sucks and anywhere far from here is best. If you count the crappy years.. this one is .. and I am guessing is likely to be one.. but from those crappy year came really wonderful things.. an angel, a dream job and this year.. who knows.. I know that if I have to go through all these things to get that magic at the end.. then maybe I should stick around yea.

Today I wish I could call Perth and go watch a movie, any movie really.. but oh well..


the million dollar questions

how do you know you like someone...
what would you do, now knowing that you did like this person
and if you answered "I don't know" and "nothing" for both questions, does it really mean that you are going to live a lonely existent with 20 cats, a pair of knitting needles and a trusty rocking chair.

Because if it is, then you can cut the long story short, but me a wig, pull out all my teeth and put me on a semi-solid diet for the rest of my life.