I'm left puzzled

it's how I linger on every word
laugh momentarily
catch myself smiling
wait on each hour
second guess myself
how I sink into solace
snuggle up in bed
ponder my stupidity
long for answers
want it all to make sense
how I cry at my naivete
speak with conviction
sour at response
cave on inquisition

it bothers me
smothers me
delights me
surprises me