it is not goodbye

There are some times that i can't seem to understand anything about myself, if i simply create trouble because i feel i'm not quite worth the happiness that is served. Yet there are moment that i'm filled with great clarity, it is with this same swiftness that i'm once again shrowded in darkness. I have perfected the art of denying myself what i cannot have, it has become my trait to selectively perceive that I simply am not previed to beauty.

I feel disappointed, each time i leave behind a tear. As i walk the lonely path home i think of all the wonderful things, i guess i'm over compensating for the zoid i feel of raised expectations and empty smiles.

Its as if circumstances allow for me to complete a life, a life which is not mine. I feel more pain as i walk home than i started, next week will get better, you'll see. I pray that you'll take my hand and never let go. please don't let go.

but each week i fall, and is left hanging by a thread. I hang on to the hope that love will superceed all, i tell myself it is not so. then again I can't imagine it any other way.

i would wait each week
hurt each week
can you take away my pain?