I'll be very honest. I don't like feelings, so much so that I tend to deny them and run in the opposite direction. I would probably fit no normal circumstance.

It's my privilege and my curse. Every day I take the baby steps to acknowledging how I feel and sharing them with other people. It's by no means an easy feet, baby steps.

I love life, I love my life. I'd have it no other way, maybe better. But the past wasn't better. It doesn't stop me from thinking of the past, missing bits and pieces of it. Hoping that maybe that wasn't the best life had to offer. It's a risk that I've had to live with and one that I am more than willing to take.

Backpacking, trip to amazing places, doing silly things, dancing in the streets, picnics and long walks to no where, road trips and partying.. I've done it all, and there is so much more to come. Maybe if I go alone, it really is no big deal.

Sometimes there are pangs, where I wish there is someone to share it with. Not someone who hears what I have to say, but someone who listens and not brushes me aside.

there is so much more than just loving someone. But when I do, I promise to fall.

My heart feels so full, listening to Corinne Bailey Rae, full from, going on a shopping trip with the girls, showing them around Jakarta. Yet it is so empty, from pushing people away, empty from not having someone to run to.

There are good things to come. I believe that.