mindlessness

I don't really know what i'm doing...
and i guess others can sense that too.
though i hurt from time to time
lord i pray i am able to hold the weight
i wonder why and though i pretend
i don't think i can fool everyone for long
realising that i really don't amount to much
i guess its nothing new,
but hearing it and its pressure isn't helping too

i've walked along side many
but not one beside me too
a barrier holds us apart
a mental block of epic proportion
its collecting dust on my cheek
it makes my spine twist in horror
i guess its nothing new
the pressure ain't helping too

i'm past my prime, i'm brimming youth
out comes the scapel, out falls my tooth
my body aches, my spirit weary
my soul lost in mindless query
confront regret
comfort my pleas
encourage the scorn of jealousy
i guess its true, its nothing new
but the pressure is not helping too...

i've stared out past the rows of lamps
into the cloudy night sky,
it makes me cry, would i rather die?
i'm tired,oh God what have i gotten into?