shoe box in my closet...

I think no amount of time is going to help you fanthom the loop I am going to throw you. I thought I made it clear that it was the end, then i get thrown a loop too. And it was as if it never happened and history got conveniently erased. Did you ask me if it was okay? you just showed up at my door and took shelter in my life, who the fuck let you belittle what i took so long to say. It was hard to say it, it was painful to push you away. but it was/is at a point where I am cordial... jus because... hope that will suffice. It not that don't want to talk or that i hate you.. its just that the things you've done to yourself and to me have shattered my trust in you and i just need to deal with that. I broke off our relationship because i have nothing positive to say, apparently kind words don't go a long way in your books. It was not a "primary sch" rash decision on my part to leave when the going gets tough, but OUR problem stems from long ago. You know that I've "changed" ever since WAY back, and let me tell you that it was on purpose. I've been distancing from you ever since, but i do so with much guilt. If you want to know why i distance myself, i am not ashamed- cos if i was i would deny your existance, not introduce you to my friends. but instead wait... first, what is a friend?

i feel a friend is someone who gives you honest feedback, if i sux has the fucking guts to tell me so. someone who listens to my feedback, doesnt necessarily be there 24/7 but want to and would like to be there. Doesn't share the same interest, but a least appreciates thems, and most of all thoroughly enjoys the company all the time.

I am truly sorry, but i haven't been that for you at all and because of that i don't qualify as your friend, have little interest in being your friend and feel you deserve so much better.

I know that you think that life is at it's titter, but i can assure you that you were living in a fish bowl. I'm glad things have blown over that you are getting your life back in order. I thank tha lord that even though there are things that you are unhappy about, that you've accepted them which i know is hard to do. On the whole, this breakthrough is what i'm been hanging around for. And since this chapter has come to a close, i think its time i said good bye.