where have I been all my life?

taken from O!magazine July2005
Daphne Zuniga

I love finding my soul mate! again and again!

I'm not married, never have been, but everytime I meet my soul mate, I feel in my core, this guy is it. I've met the most amazing men in my life, so many that a year ago I found I was truly tuckered out. I announced a hiatus, and the rules were simple; no dating, no falling love. If I met my soul mate he would have to wait till the break was over. I commited to six months.

I needed the self-imposed intervention because when I fall for someone, I'm hit an insatiable desire to merge. I've never understood dating "on the weekends." If I'm nuts about a guy but see him only on the weekends, then what the hell am I doinf the five days inbetween? Impatiently waiting for the damn weekend.

I want to be where the action is. I want to see him when he wakes up, matted and vulnerable. If he's hanging out watching the Mets, I want to be there, my feet on his lap, yelling at Mike Piazza. I want to see him do his hair thing with a dab of gel, watch him walk naked down the hall behind him.

Falling in love has been a consuming desire to share the marrow of another human being in the hope that life will become profound and fall into place. That is the prize, and to get it, I have done what I've always done: morphed myself so that I fit into his life. Whatever habits,opinions, or wardrobe I used to have vanished, and what he prefers take their place. I don't completely give up who I am - the men I fall for wouldn't be attracted to that - but I soften my edges, sweep out the parts of myself that might be in the way. This is how I have loved.