I never would have guessed that life would have turned out this way and that a lot of the difficult choices that I had made in the past seems like specks of insignificant dust. They seemed so important at the time but of course has been monumental life lessons to help me grow, mature and make better choices now.

It doesn't stop me from being foolish from time to time, thinking that giving in will get me the answers I want and the short term satisfaction weighed against the long term gain. I think that is my weakness, I am risk adverse. But I too am thoughtful, a bit of a worry-wort by other people's standards.

Life has been relatively simple, and boy I like simple. When I left drew to find myself and lead a life beyond our combined expectations, I did not intend to end up here. Unsure, lonely, hopeful but still happy. Some assurance from time to time would be nice, to let me know that I am walking the right way. I guess, we don't get that privilege to get reminders like that.

Sometimes I find myself setting goals that are within my means, other times I find myself a little to "head in the clouds".

I think I would never mean what I want to say. And I try and let the words flow and take on a life of its own, and within these pages have its hidden meaning. In months to come, the meaning fades. But the feelings don't. That is what is most important.

For the next year, I promise to wear my heart on my sleeve. Get hurt and be vulnerable. Allow others to help me, stay pretty and be pretty. Heck what other people think and love myself a little more. Smile more, be generous and love thy neighbour :)

I will act like the person I want to be.