I need a new best friend

my sister wrote that the other day. and I have realised that I don't really have one. Not anymore, not for the longest time.

I do not want to focus on the hurt or the fact that I push them away. And maybe I am angry at them for changing. I too have changed and I can't expect that this will wait while the whole world moves forward.

I miss so many people that I have left behind in my life and sometimes I wonder if I will be seeing them soon, or if ever. And why was I so stupid to hurt them and drive them away. I feel that I am going to keep paying for that for a long time to come.

Of course I do not like the idea but that's what I think. Snap out of it man.

I think that really for the next couple of month, the work will dictate me. and I really need to stay grounded. Man I talk only about work.

Well I really want to dance but I do not even have enough time to think about all the other things that I would really like to do. Maybe a dinner with Minsy there a movie here and a party in my mind

Ram had this really queer conversation with me. a random one about how I should think about my future and the guy that would have to marry me. About how what if he couldn't afford to take me on trips like I am use to? I don't really think that is a big deal