waiting for the wind to change

i hold my breath each time it chimes, and sink when its not my time.
There is so many things remains unsaid, a thousand things run through my head.
its messy and complicated cause I make it so and I pretend it isn't
its makes me, it hates me
I cringe at everything new
i wallow and bask in my soul demise,

could there be a resolution to these crossroads and traffic jams
I request for the long scenic route with my soulmate in hand
till then I'll sombre up and mellow down
maybe I'll doll up and stop that frown