i finally have a day that i dun have anything to rush me out of the house. i finally get to rant about the things that are going on in my life.

*phew... i'm still really bugged by the fact that i didn't get to spend ANY time with fel while she was back... i think i can guess how she feels... erh.. there is no excuses for neglecting friend. i guess it sucks when i have 3 different places that i haveto divide my attention between...

which also links back to that night at CB, i'm really sorry that i was selfish and my slip up caused you and in turn me so much heartache.but i hope you are feeling better... cos i do.. i learnt a lot that night at the bus stop, whether ur lessons were intentional.. i doubt it but now i know not to poke in others' business.

so from now on no more hanging on toexcess baggage.. i travel light now.. esp ppl who dunreally want to be dragged around.. they should fuck off... if you know who i mean. there is no point hiding it much longer... i don't need everyone to like me. and all that i've done and hang on to might hard for you and you will probably never understand but i can't keep thinking what's best for you if you keep fucking me over. and that is how i feel... have you ever asked me how i feel? i've been very accomadating... maybe its because you are disillusioned that we are sisters or that i'm busy (a cover up for not wanting an emotional connection) maybe i'm a coward fornot telling you this earlier... but we both know that if i leave.. well i cant bear to see what is next...


today is the first in a long time that i am able to stop, and think... and after writing stuff down it all feels a little more organised but i'm still aching from the gym and yoga class with sx...

anhong is right i dun talk about drew much, and sincemy mom knows... and i knows she reads this... guess i'll make an effort to talk about him a little more. although drew would agree that he doesnt like to be talked about it'll be funny to see him squirm... *muack

rovers has been time consuming and honestly i dont think we will remain as friends... i mean we are good friends by NUS standards... n ppl are starting to get what i mean... Jane did.. n i dun think that even counts as friends... i think i should spend more time with the ppl from CSS they have this ease about them... you jus know they don't have an agenda - i think tha tis refreshing... not that rovers have an agenda... but there is hastiness about us all... its like we never stop working and enoy what we are doing...

eejin has a point about waitressing... i want to do it.. i possibly go and find a job at FRIENDS... jus in gardens...but its true.. y do you want a low paying job that makes you "degrad " yourself.. i guess its a matter how you look at it... but i think there is a lot to lear about being at the bottom...

sch is starting...

and a want a whole new me.. with resolutions to study a short term and long term goal... with newpromisesnever to fail to stay strong when the world crumbles... right now everything is just swimming in my head...

okay.. since i'msointo it... imight as well makeit now...
there is no timelike the present is there...

so here goes nothing...

resolutions to be a nerd this sem

to startstudying from day 1
be consistent and on time with assignments
do more than is required
always plan for the week ahead

find a job... in service -waitressing
career": job1 air stedwardess
own a house by 25

SMP
introduce my mentee to a whole new world

need to head off to the gym...
okie for health... drink more water...
excercise regularly.. 2 a week...
sign up for gym? no fucking way!
fix my back by dec!
dec 1st!

i'll be back to extend it..