you see nothing..

there arent plenty things that make me sad..
but few that affect me..
this is jus one of the things..
never thought it would affect me so much..
change the way i look at life entirely..

it has shown me that i have many friends who care
understand
and are willing to listen to me sprout nonsense..
i love them dearly..
n never thought love could make me hurt so much..

my mind wonders.. n my friends are here to give me that smack in the face..
thank you..
i never knew i had so many flaws..
thank you for pointing them out to me..
i'm eternally grateful..
my heart has said these words over n over..
but jus not to the right people..
they are so clueless..
n they are the ones that should be the first to know..
i'm afraid of letting them down..

i though i could keep the feelings to myself..
that i could make everyone happy..
i forgot all about myself
but i'm only fooling myself..
now i stand on trial..
the jury staring through me as if i was made of glass
their gaze pierce through my skin..
as if i wasnt there at all..
or a thin flimsy board
passing judgement even before i am brought to the stand
what is the use fighting at all
i'm never going to win..

justice must be done..

now i'm nicer to strangers than him...